sOoOoO fAsT??

many things happen in ur life. so fast. faster than u cld ever imagine. from sec 4 life to studying to having fun in school to mid year exams to n levels to enjoy life to working at c241 togetting results to suffering to sentosa to camping to having fun to working n finally, to a new year. wats ur revolution, huh?? not o play too much?? not to be late again?? ahahx.. sooo many things happen in life. some say that they lurve their life to the core. some said that lifa sucks a big time. some says???i have been through life in a terrible way coz i choose that way. some ppl love life coz they make thier life an enjoyable one. well, i seriously dun noe wad the hel is goin on wif ma life. it seems like i have screwed up most day of ma life. cant say anymore! c ya soon, feeza.

*rEpEaT??!!*

diary. i felt terrible. damn freakin terrible. argh!! wats wrong? well, i have to retake my n levels again. that means that i have to repeat the whole of sec.4 life again!! argh!! shit!! screwed my life. thats wat happen when we dun wanna learn n study smart at the right time. dun play a fool by fooling ard n everything.. i hate ma life!! seriously, i dunno wad will happen further more. my worst day of ma life is when i get to noe that i have to repeat!! told my mom n she kept nagging(well, who doesnt) n it realli breaks my heart. she not only nag but she critize me all the time. it hurt. hurts alot, u noe.. i noe im stubborn n soooo foolish to ignore my mom's nagging.. she meant well but....it's tooo late!! just wish me luck!!haha.. urs, feeza.

----WeLcOmE hOmE!!!---

just bought a cage for the bunny. sooooo freaking happy even though $$ flying. ahahx. spent almost $150/- for eveything. yet, not finish buying his vitamins n lots. so happy that can adopt him to stay at home. had a hard time toking to ma mom but worth it. dad not home yet. haiz~ wat shall i sae? wish me luck, diary.n welcome home, bunny! love u always, feeza.

=??cOnfUsEd??=

im sooooo confused with ma life. wat's wrong now? i hav no answers. so clueless, i guess. just wish me good luck. ahas! there's no one who i cld turned to. long time nvr see lina n anisa. miss them sooooooo muchy!! hope to see ya galz soon. wish that cld be able to go up next yr with them. gonna miss them.

wAd tHe HELL!!!!??

WAT WAS EVERYONE THINKING?? i get sooo frustrated this morning. wad's happening to my family n ma life?!!i think, im just nobody. seriously, i am nobody.im sad, truly stressed up with ppl ard me. maybe i sldnt have to much frens n family coneections. my sis still doesnt understand wat im saying. well, kakda...i noe u r readin my blog. i seriously dun understand u. u prefer taking ur problems to ur frens then me. its fine with me. but is it fair to sae that i dun understand u more than ur frens? u didnt even taking to me then how the hell am i going to understand u more. u noe how much pressure i suffer more than u at home. mom have more love for u than me coz of beauty. wel, u noe that u r more pretty than me n slim. well, wat do i have?? u knew that!! but u took that for granted. i have beeen crying all this to myself since u arent by my side. in fact that my tears has rolled down my cheecks n i cldnt dare to look at mom n bro. y cldnt u just understand me?? it realli hurts me inside, kakda..i knew u r too! i have feeling so do u. i have a heart, so do u. so, tell me wats ur problem wih me. that day, when u r doin the survey, i felt happy as to accompany u since u got no one. u told me that u cried coz there are some ppl who r sooo stucked up with u. it breaks ma heart to see u in that situation but u didnt noe. u thought that i didnt care abt it at all. how wld i feel fine or great?? U R MY SISTER!!! no one else cld take up ur place.. but u make me force to do it. i told my probs to lina n anisa. they r the ones who r like my 2nd sister. they understand me rite from the start. but, u knew more of ma probs then them. coz its unfair. how can i avoid telling my sister probs than my fren?? kakda, i have suffered alot. i noe u too. but if we keep on treating each other lyke this, then wat will happen??

nObOdy'S hOmE-----arViL LaViNgE

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home,but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

lOvE---LiKe---hAtE!!!

diary.i feel like so much feelings is inside me today!!from love to like to hate!! i have toooo many things to tell to u.. i am very upset n in fact im crying rite now. this point of time. it hurts lots, u noe. i feel n wonder y ppl keep betraying me n making me feel bad abt myself. i hate them! i just couldnt understand them esp.my sister. she keeps bullying me like there is no tommorrow. wat i mean is that i have to listen to her all the time! if not, she will give me this sour face n start her shit! i, as a sister, feels freaking bad n try to cheer her up in any ways but... it's realli gettin out of hand..i seriously cant take it anymore!! y must i always follow her instructions? so wat if she is the elder one?? am i a maid or a stupid mf* sister?? i feel like im a rotten egg.. when it comes to $$, everyone will come to me. but if i dun have?? wat will happen?? u get wat i mean,dun u??

i met lina today n had fun. we talked n talked nonsense. as usual ah. then, i met zee at burger king. we had leftovers n i thought of bringing it to makca hse coz there got many ppl n firdaus is there too! im sooooo happy n wanted to leave early but got things to buy. lina went to werk so, zee n i went to top 20 to buy skirt n pants fer myself. then, we went sooo many stores to check fer shirts n stuff. we headed to giant aft getting tired of window shopping. we bought stuffs fer zee's hse then bought some drinks n rojak. hungry again?? went to food court(b1) n eat our food. feel like eating char kway teow with kerang n bought one plate n share by ourselves..haha. i felt secure n had fun with him each time we went out alone. i felt bad aft bullying n scolding him but i have to put in some sense in his brains.. seriously, im not lying..@ 3pm i went my aunt hse by taking taxi. rich wad..haha. saw firdaus n played with him. he is my little cousin whom is just 14mths. miss him soooooo much.

@ 6pm, went out with my sister to buy our new rabbit, mocha, a cage. met zee n joe @ parkway n get buzy planning wat to buy for the rabbit. confident enuff, called our parents to confirm. in e end, get scoled n not allowed to adopt the rabbit. my sis cldnt talk when wif fone wif my dad. asked her sooo many times but cried insead. feeling freaking bad, finaally she msg me n said that not allowed to buy the stufffs n had to give other ppl. =( sis cried n i too cried. so sad to leave that cute, innocent rabbit away. sad to see sis disappointed. talked to her n she smiled! finally!! went to Mc cafe n bought food to eat AGAIN!! haha. eat n eat n eat. that's my job!

suppose to meet my cousin, kakno at cathay cineplex but we took our own sweet time. my sis onli wear short pants but wanted to follow us n watch movie together. so, i thought of buying her long pants or anything betta den that shorts. first, went to giordano then esprit, baleno, samuel n kevin, top 20 n finally to royal sporting hse. she go n choose this quite ex pants fer $49 but got disc so its $44.10. haiz~ we were late coz of her. i dun mind if she's nice to me but she changed aft i bought the pants n went to see kakno. she starts her sour face n expects me to listen wad she says @ long john. i dun wanna give a damn animire!! im seriously sic n tired of this freaking sh*t! enuff is enuff!! there surely a tolerance in everything u do, ryte?? weell, diary. i wish that my sis cld be like other sis who is more understanding n dun push me ad like a clown. i hate being like this. let me live lyke a human, just lyke her. plz!!

=cHaT wItH jIe WeN=

he's a really nice guy.. i cant imagine how we(me, kelly, him n kim li) were together during sec.3 class..we are the most horrible n hilaroius students in the class.. ahahx.. well, remembering all those memories makes me smiles all the way.. now, kelly is not the same class as we were n kim li too.. it's so sad to get to noe that they have to retained for one more year.. a year was wasted in their lives.. well, miss u guys!! hope to be the same like old times.. but, times have to change, ryte??

hAd fUn aFt a LoNg dAy @ wErK..

haiz..after a long day at werk, i finally had a little time to spend wif fauzee.. heys, we r just frens ah.. notting much.. we hail a cab n went to pp(parkway parade).. very rich mah..wanna to eat satay at kartini indo.restaurant but later scared wld spend toooo much..so, i decided to eat at food court @ b1..haiz~ u noe wad...we had to wait fer 1/2hr to get a two seats.. aRgH!!! freakkkking saded, okay!! we waited n waited n waited.. soooooo freaking long sia.. den got some excitement.. ahahx.. got ppl quarreling.. damn loud.. ahahx.. but cldnt realli concentrate coz they speaking mandarin..how to understand, u tell me.. finally, we got the seats that we waited soooo long n bought our food; mee siam, mee rebus, two extra eggs, celery juice, carrot juice n homemade barley..we also bought cut fruits; 2 watermelons, 1 papaya, 1 pear, 1 orang.. that was the cheapest meal i ever had wif him!! ahahx.. we onli spent abt $20 on food n $18 on taxi fares.. ahahx.. he was quite handsome though just now.. ahahx.. but still buncit!! like me.. well, hope that he cld be lyke that all the time b4 we broke off.. =(

tIrEd?? oR aM i jUsT tOo mUcH??!

i am soooooooooo freaking tired.. i just dunno wad to do.. i am like soooo sick but there is no one who cld cum early to substitude for me.. im tired of werking actually!! but with the leisure of woking with family n cld get extra n more cash for my heavily expenditure, i had to, dnt i?? or am i too much to think all this at once?? cldn't i just wait fer them to cum patiently n then leave?? was i toooo tired coz im sick or was i over-reacting?? i realli dunno which is which..my couzins like got no brains!! always cum late!! foreva late!! im the one who's gonna suffer till death.. ahahx.. wat nonsense ah..well... i wish there is sumone who cld show me love n the meaning of LIFE!!!

*=[WeLcOmE tO mY wOrLd]=*

hey, welcome to my internet diary.. ahahx.. me like soooo kuku but luckily got kuku sister to teach me.. ahahx.. see ya!!