play my favourite song.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

<...tOrN...>

<...tOrN...>

I thought I saw a man brought to life

He was warm, he came around like he was dignified

He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn’t be that man I adored

You don’t seem to know, don’t seem to care what your heart is for

But I don’t know him anymore

There’s nothing where he used to lie

My conversation has run dry

That’s what’s going on, nothing’s fine I’m torn

I’m all out of faith, this is how I feelI

’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed into something real

I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You’re a little late, I’m already torn

So I guess the fortune teller’s right

Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light

To crawl beneath my veins and now

I don’t care, I have no luck, I don’t miss it all that much

There’s just so many things that I can’t touch, I’m torn

I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel

I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed into something real

I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You’re a little late, I’m already torn. torn.

There’s nothing where he used to lie

My inspiration has run dry

That’s what’s going on, nothings right, I’m torn

I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel

I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed into something real

I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel

I’m cold and I’m ashamed bound and broken on the floor

You’re a little late, I’m already torn

dearest,

i am feeling torn.

realli torn.

torn inside.

argh!!

wtf!!

i am going to ferget abt him,k..

he dun lyke mi, rite??

ok den..

i'll shall leave him alone den..

i hav n need to avoid him b4 i cld even ferget abt him..

it takes tyme..

need lots n plenty of tyme.

but.. i hv to.

he lurves sumone else.

n he is sincere n wil wait fer her.

i noe tht.

i shall be strong n ferget abt him.

even though its a hard n painful moments fer mi, i hv to.

its fer him.

i just lurve n adore him soooo much tht i cldnt see him suffer fer mi.

i cnt be selfish.

he doesnt even like mi.

haiz~

im alwaes gonna be a sad,depressed, n confused gurl..

it cn neva ends.

i lurve u n onli u.

*mUaCkS~

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

*bE stRoNg*

*bE stRoNg*

dearest,

i promise.

i'll be strong.

dere's nth in e world is goin to be bothering mi animore.

i promise to GOD n to HIM.

tht i wld nt do anithing stupid animore.

cuz i promise to be strong.

n i will.

cuz i hv made a promise.

n a promise shall nt be broken.

Monday, July 25, 2005

..!'m sT!LL wA!t!nG fEr yOu..

..!'m sT!LL wA!t!nG fEr yOu..

dearest,

wth??

i hav been waitin fer his calls, sms or anything but i yet get no reply.

wtf??

haiz~

i am more n more insane n hv gone crazy each dae..

yes.

lots of ma frens hv been trying their best to stop my nonsense but they failed to..

sory guys.

i told u i dun wan attention.

its just lack of kasih syg.

n i meant it.

my wrist is lyke bleeeding to death w all e lines tht i created.

i need sumones lurve.

n i reaalii need it.

but however, i need GOD more thn him.

i need u, allah!!

help me..

im in deep depression n confusion.

i need a gd scolding frm special sumone.

winda n lina has trying their best to stop me frm cutting my wrist but i just cnt.

in fact, im enjoying doing it wen i think abt him.

i cried soooo much.

i cut my wrist soooo much.

i just dunno wat im gonna do next.

probably, commit suicide??

cnt!!! cannot!! oh man!!

hw cld i ever think abt tht..

i've realli gone crazy..

i realli need GOD to show me e right path..

wher am i suppose to head??

plz..

ohmy~

wish me all e best, yea??

anwaes, todae is nisa's bdae.

celebrated @ swenson's ...

attendance?? ahahx..

ahmad kamil, haadi, farhan, fuad, illiyasa, jazmi, nurul ain, savrina, shaza, fahimah, nisa n myselffff....

weeee~ kinda hv lots n tons of fun.. we hv lots of jokes n craps..miss u guys darrlings.. takecare n hav fun, peeps!! lurve ya all!!

*hUgS~

Friday, July 22, 2005

!nSaNe..yEs ! aM

!nSaNe..yEs ! aM

dearest,

i think i am insane n realli going haywire todae.

yes.

todae.

i cut my wrist.

i took e hot ash frm a cigarette n burn my hand.

n lastly, i wanted to jump out frm my block.

thts y i say i'm mad, insane n going crazy.

im heartbroken.

depressed.

everything is wrong fer me.

my life sucks to e core!!

wat has happened?

im miss lina n anisa soooo much.

i am still in lurve w u but u juz dun realise tht.

joe scolded me lyke crazy fer burning my hand.

tht was e first tyme i am freaking afraid @ him.

ohman!!

u shld c tht.

but i appreciate tht scolding.

its been a long time smone scold me fer my stupid wrongdoings.

thks joe.

n fer malah, w/o u juz nw, i think i wsnt here writing tis post.

thks malah.

to niah n ahmad, thks fer being dere fer mi.

i really appreciate ur kindness.

lurvvee u guys loads n tons!!

n to ex-dearies, i still misses u guys.

yep.

i do.

Friday, July 15, 2005

wOrSt yEaR eVa!!

wOrSt yEaR eVa!!

dearest,

this is really e WORST YEAR EVA TO ME!!!!

argh!!

i hate it to e core,man!!

wats wrong w e ppl tis yr,man??!!

esp. taufiq..illiyasa..azmi..hasan..syairul

do u guys hv problem w me??

den tell me straight!!

argh..

hvnt gt my period 4 last 6 mths..

doc said tht it is due to peer pressure n stress.

wtf

haiz~

allah, i need ur help!

really..

plz..

hasan threw tantrums at sheena todae.

books n table flew

caught my attention n every1's too

wats wrong, man??

haiz~

im just tooo sad,depressed n frustrated abt tis

cnt sae no more!!

anwaes, happy 49th bdae to my uncle on 13 july!!

we(me,kakda,kakno n kaya) celebrated at his hse on tht dae ard 11pm

soooo fun

super doooper fun!!

Friday, July 08, 2005

**wHeN !s e f!gHt!nG gOnna end??

dearest,

firstly, i wanna sae tht im together w lina n anisa olreadi!!!

yahoo... !!!!

i am e one who make e first move but doesnt matter..

im freaking hapi!!

yes!!! i am!!

ahahx..

on e other hand, i cant take it some how w ex-dearies..

coz dey r sitting right beside me!!

everydae!! during reading period or assembly..

i hv to admit tht w/o dem in my life,

it is incomplete!!

realli.. i cn feel tht..

i still havent pass to sak n sarah their bdae prezzie..

dunnno wen to give..

haiz~

pressure..pressure babe!!

aniwaes, i wanna sae dat i hope we will be back 2gether again..

coz wen we r back 2gether, it might be tooo late..

yup..

late!!

went out to tampiness mall w fau just nw..

at ard 8pm to 9.45pm..

ok la..

had a great time..

ahahx.. we took neoprint..

it was funny!!

show u some dae wen i scan e pics olreadi, yea??

da lame giler sey blum kluar dgn dier..

da nak balik so..

naik bus 31 n feel asleep..

n wen i woke up, TERLAJAK!!!

ahahx..

have to walk frm marine drive to my hse..

haiz~

leceh sey..

menyesal ako tido dlm bus..

but tak leh angkat sey..

toooo sleepy..

reached hm at 10.30pm!!

ahahx..

had a fun tyme 2dae!!

weeeeee~~