Monday, April 16, 2007
declaration-
when are you gonna stop talking about me??
and dragging more & more people into it.
making me feeeel like shitt.
i didnt tell people what you said to me about them.
SO,
stop it!!
enuff laaa.
and about the immature, i'm saying about the situation i'm facing.
since when i say that i refers it to you.
and what was the reason for me not replying to your letter??
coz we had enuff misunderstandings & the condition is getting worst.
if you think you're sad, what abt me??
have you actually cared??
think. THINK.
dont just continue hitting me with your words.
ENOUGH OF TALKING ABOUT ME TO PEOPLE.
why dont you go ard the school and say to them??
wouldnt that be better??
i say this because i'm damn effing angry with the 'frens i used to have'.
awesome frens at first.
after that, pure enermies.
AND DIG THIS, I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE MY ENERMY OR WHATEVA SHIT, OKAYYY.
if you eat chilli, you'll taste the hotness.
if not, what's that to worry.
and THIS IS MY BLOG.
i'm free to write whateva i want.
not to care about anyone's feelings, coz what will happened with my feelings???
shit laaa, okayyy.
LET ME MOVE ON & GO ON WITH MY LIFE.
stop being greedy and keep on snatching my happiness away.
and look who's the one always not letting me having my bestfrens ard me??
it's easy for you to say my bad side!!
and of coz i have.
but have you look at yours??
THINK.
i have done my soul-searching.
have you???
if i am a hypocrite & backstabber, i would have told the rest wat you've said abt them too.
THINK.
have i??
dont put words into my mouth.
i dont wish to make it sooo dramatic and stuff.
thank god i still have EEQAH & HELMY.
and ira.
and dont you dare say i dont bother abt us, me & you.
my parents, sister & the whole people in my life kept mentioning your name.
esp when my mom prepare the curry puff for you in the mornings.
what am i suppose to tell her??
but i thank my mom for being super supportive at times.
and thks to your advise too.
and i've been writting in our diary for nuts.
if i dont care, i've would have just burn it or bury it somewhere.
look, no matter how much you're going to hate me, i will still keep those special moments and memories together.
especially those outings we spent, just the two of us, together..
maybe, we're not fated together.
we think we're happy always but are we??
and..those time when i told them about you, i didnt even think you would doubt our friendship and think i would have backstabbing you.
they're my frens.
cant i view out my points to them??
when they say.."hey feez, no secrets la. bastard sia you. no fren."
are you suppose me to keep my mouth shut all the time??
i dont even know this would have happen.
telling them turning into backstabbing.
dont be stingy,plz.
i need them.
and now, YOU HAVE THEM ALL.
i was damn super sad when you said, i need them all myself, not letting you guys be close together.
wth??
and when you said i talk bad things about elise??
GOD.
didnt you said stuffs abt her too???
and you said you'll be glad to lend me your ears??
isnt that contridicting??
if you willing to lend me, you wouldnt tell her whateva you have told,rite??
coz i didnt say about her, dennis and keith either to the rest, remember??
frens sure know how to twist and turn and make some people become the scapegoat.
and yes, its me.
THINK.
if i were to backstabb her, wouldnt i go ard telling her problems to everyone of us.
wouldnt i make stories, terrible stories abt her.
you know she's been the sweetest & caring bestfren i've ever had.
but knowing how much she hates me know, makes me sooo disappointed of myself not going to her & ask her what's wrong.
you're the one saying you cnt click with her and stuff.
and now, what's going one.
HAPPY COZ YOU HAVE HER NOW??
AND SHE HATES ME NOW??!!!
i knew it all was tooo late.
thats' why i should move on.
but the more i do that, the more obstacles you guys gave me.
would you wanna try being like that??
like how shi yun, wen chi, harold, SHAFEEQAH feels??
loner.
arghhh-
everyone talks about each others backside.
EVERYONE does that.
but seeing you guys thinking that i was bitching ard, needed popularity or smth, was soooo wrong.
you said, even though if we were to clear things and tries to be like normal again, you cnt.
coz there's wall building in our friendship, and you started to avoid me.
that's why i thought of stopping everything before it gets worst.
but there you go again, reading my blog and tells the rest of them.
because of that, i'm either CHANGING MY BLOG URL OR DELETING IT ALL.
you kept thinking the wrong idea.
and i get the blame.
i get the bad name.
feeza is a hypocrite & backstabber.
BEWARE!!
thinking you doubting our friendship, i better rest my case & let it stop.
maybe you are meant for them.
and i was not suppose to enter your group.
but let me tell you this, in my life, i've known you-
i treasure every bit of our friendship.
you know you mean alott to me.
i still cnt get over seeing bus 14 when going home, eating hawaiian pizza with lotsa pineapples, calling me every morning to check where i was, to eat curry puffs early morning.
i still cnt help it.
each frens i have is different.
and you're super special.
you know too much abt me in less than 3 months??
sometimes, it becomes a disadvantage of getting too close with someone.
but this thought me a lesson.
a GOOD lesson.
not to trust people to much & watch my mouth.
frens can be good frens and good enermies too.
and babe!!
I'M SAYING ALL THIS NOT TO SUCK UP OR ANYTHING.
like i say.
my blog, my life.
i'm free to write stuffs here.
its smart of you not letting us know your blog.
i ♥ feez.bel.elis.ezan forever,
and ever.
*Muahhhhhh
